Lucy and The Black Dog
by 45seconds
Summary: Lucy Heartfilia is meant to be strong. Lucy Heartfilia is meant to be dating Natsu Dragneel. Lucy Heartfilia is meant to have the best marks. Lucy Heartfilia is meant to have the best friends. Lucy Heartfilia is not meant to hate herself. Lucy Heartfilia is not meant to be depressed. Lucy Heartfilia was not meant to be dead. Depression & Suicide don't like! Dont Read!
1. Chapter 1

"Im sorry Lucy but can we break up?"

That text came out of nowhere, we were talking normally and then that.

Like the wimp I was, I didn't fight it. I gave a short reply of 'Yh, okay. If you want to' and shut my phone down.

My life has been crap since then. I saw him with a girl, a beautiful white haired girl. She was kind and they suited each other well.

Levy had gotten a boyfriend, a man named Gejeel. She tried not to mention him much because she didn't want to upset me but it only made it worse. She was piting me.

I spent a lot more time alone despite the amount of friends I had. I withdrew from social events just wanting to be alone.

The pressure from my dad for good marks didn't help either, it only made them fall.

I began to cut. For the reason that it made me feel something, anything.

I began to hate myself for feeling this way, I had no reason. My life was fine. I didn't have the right to be drepressed. So why was I?

Bad thoughts plagued my mind, every second of every day, every week.

You are doing this to yourself, you are pushing your friends away.

Natsu broke up with you because you are ugly inside and out.

Everyone pities you.

I scream for them to stop but they won't.

A black dog follows me around now, dragging me down.

I have became mearly a shadow of what I was. I look terrible and everyone can see this.

The black dog won't go away, it kepts following me. He keeps growing, it scares me.

I tried to tell my dad but he replied with 'strong people don't get depressed'.

That wasn't the answer I wanted to hear, I wanted, needed help.

Natsu hasn't talked to me since. I apprently don't exist anymore in his eyes. I'm not sure if that the same for everyone now. It probably is.

I went to the nurse she didn't care.

I didn't tell Levy, I didn't want to. I don't know what she would think.

'She'd hate you' The voices and black dog growled. That black was bigger than me now, he trampled me everyday and I have lost the energy to get back up.

That brings me here.

On the roof of the school, they had taken the fences down for a week to repair and replace them. It was my chance.

My change to ditch the voices

The black dog.

Natsu

My 'friends'.

My family.

My life.

So I jumped.


	2. Chapter 2

She was discovered minutes after the fall. An ambulence was called in vain. No pulse emminated from her wrist and her eyes stared into nothingness.

Her family was called at once, her Father asked for privacy while he realised that now he was all alone in this world. No one he loved was left.

He blamed himself always pushing her for good grades and not realising the state that she was in. He sat in the morgue, on his own, with tears running down his face.

The next to hear were Levy, Erza and Juvia. They had spent the night trying to get through the Lucy's phone as she had failed to attend a friends party, even though she had promised. Theu realised why she hadn't l

They broke down crying when they heard from the schol nurse, demanding that it was false.

Ezra had to be restrained by the nurse as she attemted to punish herself. They didn't return to lesson and their parents where called to inform them of what had happened.

As soon as the lunch bell rang, the three walked out tears clearly visable on their face.

Their friends asked what was wrong but they refused to tell anyone, knowing Lucy kept her Black Dog a secret for a reason.

They agreed they had to tell Natsu, who had once loved the girl who had just passed. They called him away from his girlfriend, and told him.

He first thought it was a sick joke, but then realised who would make a joke like that? They all went some where private and spent the whole lunch time discussing Lucy and her life. They cried for most of it and they all blamed themselves.

Nastu admitted that he still had loved Lucy even though he had gone out with Lisanna. He was an idiot and everyone agreed.

Natsu called his dad asking him could he pay his respects to her tonight. Igneel agreed and said he wanted to come too

Igneel had loved Lucy as a daughter so when Natsu had told him they broke up, he exploded asking why?

The response he got was he found another girl.

He had refused to talk to his son for a week but got over it and moved on.

The day drawled on slowly and only Natsu returned to his lessons, while the others stayed and talked in the nurses office.

They travelled to the Heartfilia estate after school they met Jude Heartfilia.

The pain was clear on his face, they all felt like crying again. The whole house seemed to have had the same demour, the staff were quiet ans mornful. To Natsu, the house seemed darker than when Lucy was alive,'

Igneel payed his respects while the other four showed themselves into the drawing room.

Surprisingly they found Gray in there,

"What? Why are you here Gray?" Asked Erza.

Gray was as close to Lucy as Natsu had been before they started dating, they were childhood friends after all. They hadn't noticed him at school today either, they soon realised why,

"I'm the one who received Lucys Note, it was posted, it came in the mail this morning". His voice was horse from crying, another surprise.

He looked nearly as tried as Mr Hearfilia, a look of guilt and pain decorating his face.

"Do you have it with you?" Natsu asked bearly audible.

"Yeh, I do. Its here." He took a peice of paper out of his pocket, treatly it delicatly like it was worth a million pounds.

"Thank you" Natsu stared at the cursive writing on the front. Tears already threatening to fall.

He read over it and tears leaked down his face.

"Oh Lucy, Im so sorry" he croaked as he finished.

"Can Juvia see Love Riv-Lucy's Note?" Asked Juvia.

"Here you go" He wisphered.

When Juvia had finished, she passed it onto Erza until Levy had began to read. The others had taken a seat on a sofa and Igneel and Jude were still talking.

Levy cried like the rest but noticed something that the others didn't. A tiny symbol that only she would understand.

The symbol came from when they were around 14 they had the dreammof becoming writers, and usually wrote thing for each other to read.

When something wasn't finished or if it was a draft they would put the symbol in the bottom right corner of the page. Exactly where one was now.

"This isn't complete..." She wispered.

"What?" Erza asked not catching completely what Levy said.

"This isn't complete, there's more of it" she said again louder, this caught the attention of everyone.

"How do you know?" Asked Gray. Levy explained their past habit and the others agreed that she was probably correct.

Jude Heartfilia and Igneel Dragneel entered the room at that moment. One in turn they payed their respects to Jude and they all say down.

"Mr Heartfilia have you read Lucy's note?" Juvia asked, meekly.

"Yes, yes, I have. There is another one upstairs adressed to myself, I will go and get it in a moment, you may look at it" he said somely.

"Oh no no, Mr Heartfilia. Thats private we cant possibly read it" Mr Dragneel protested. The rest of the teens knew that this was true but did not support him because of their curiosity.

"Its fine. I'm sure Lucy would have wanted her thoughts to have been shared, espeacially to her friends" He replied. They all mentally breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now let me go and get it. I won't take long" Mr Heartfilia stood up, leaving the teens (plus Igneel) waiting wondering what Lucy had written and why she had put that symbol.


	3. Chapter 3

Mr Heartfilia walked down the stairs a few moments later, holding a small but long letter. He was staring down cast at it, tears threatening to fall. He wiped these before he entering the drawing room, he didn't want Lucy's friends to see him this weak.

He opened the door and slid in, trying to cause as small as sound as possible. The atmosphere was as heavy as he left it or even maybe more so. There seemed to be a hint of anticpatsion in the air.

Jude gave the letter to Levy, saying no words. She quickly skimmed the letter although even that much made her eyes water.

"The sign is here, that means that the notes are continued. When we have them all we can put them together." She declared determined but her word were almost a wispher.

"What you mean sign?" Inquired Igneel.

Levy explained to the males that had been absent.

" Hmm, do you think Lucy has left us a message?" Asked Jude.

"Yes, I think so. She always put something extra in our stories for me. To make me think or for a challange." She grinned at the memories, of earlier, simplier times.

"Are the Notes going to be sent like Grays was, in the post?" Asked Natsu heavily. He didn't even know if he would actually get one, due to the fact that he abondoned her. He knew he could only do one thing now, he would do that tonight...

"Probably. When Juvia gets home they might be there. Juvia's going to text Juvia's mum asking if there is anything" Juvia replied while taking out her phone.

"No ones at home, for me and Levy so we will have to go home as see for ourselfes. We are going to stay here for a while, is that is okay?"

Erza shared.

"Yes, yes of course I wouldn't expect anything less. Does that mean, Igneel, that you and Natsu will stay longer? I can get someone to prepare dinner. I think we all need to stay together in a time like this." Jude suggested.

"We will, I'll call Mrs Dragneel now telling her where will be. If you would excuse me for a moment." Igneel relpied glancing at Natsu who gave him a firm nod. He left the room and shut the door quitely.

"I also have something to do, I'll be back in a couple of minutes. Sorry" Natsu excused himself. Natsu had decided that this would be a good time to do the thing he need to do so badly. Something he knew deep down, that he had been wanting to do for a while. He walked through the mansion knowing the place like the back of his hand. He excited into the back garden and making sure he had some signal, he called Lisanna.


	4. Chapter 4

For Natsu, time seemed to slow down. Each ring seemed minutes, _hours,_ apart. On the seventh ring Lisanna finally picked up.

"Hey Natsu, where are you? You ran off after school" she asked, sweetly.

"I'm at home" he lied, "there is something I need to talk to you about". He breathed shakily.

"Okayyyy, what is it?" Lisanna voice was slightly streched as if she knew what was coming. Natsu breathed in heavily, anxiety clutching his chest.

"Iwanttobreakup" he swiftly muttered.

"Sorry, what was that? The signals crap here." It pained him that he knew she wasn't lying. She was innocent, she didn't want to mock him.

He once again breathed in heavily and sighed before saying,

"I'm really sorry Lisanna but I want to break up. You remember Lucy right? My ex-girlfriend.

She commited suicide last night... She jumped" His voice broke halfway, he could speak no more.

"Oh god Natsu! Are you okay? Hows Erza, Levy and Juvia? Where are you, are you really at home? Do you want me to come? Its fine if you don't. I mean you did just break up with me." She rambled, you could tell by her voice she was crying or very near it.

Then suddenly a thought occured to her, something that could have been very true. "Was I the reason Lucy died!" Lisanna's voice was mortified, she wasn't concerned for herself anymore. Her full attention was on Lucy's friends, Natsu and Lucy herself.

"No-no! Don't think that. It was mine if anything! I ignored her I broke up with her even though I stil-"

"Natsu! Your such an idiot! Why did you date me if you loved Lucy? BAKA!" She screamed, she had guessed this fact ealier.

"I know... Wait! Lisanna how are you okay with this?" Natsu questioned knowing that many girls would be hurt, angry. Lissana confusingly was the opposite. She was selfless, she didn't care that her boyfriend had just broken up with her. She cared about his well being not her own.

"I guess I kind of knew for a while, the way you stared at her in class when she wasnt looking. Or when you glanced at her when we were in hallways." She had known a week after they had started to go out, that was the first time she had caught him stealing longfull glances at her. "Now that she is d-dead, I can understand why... There's no need for you to explain Natsu" Lisanna started to tear up again, she still didn't fully believe it, someone who once was so cheerful...

"Oh, was it really that obvious?" His voice was quiet, broken almost.

"Yes, pretty much everyone guessed or knew. Everyone except you... And Lucy." She had heard a very low key rumor about it, but it was never said to her face. They didn't need to, she already knew.

"Oh God, _oh god. What have I done."_ He sobbed _,_ hisvoice was the sound of remorse and heart break.

"Natsu! It wasn't just you! No offense to Levy and that but they also failed to notice Lucy's mental state!" Don't blame it on yourslef! Remember _An Inspector Calls?_ The text we did in English last year? Think of that. Mr and Mrs Bumley, Sheila. There were many factors you may have had a big part in it but it wasn't just you!" She shouted down the phone, trying desperatly to make Natsu snap out of it.

"Yes, I do Lisanna. Thank you, I'll keep that in mind. I'm going to go now, Goodnight." His voice was normal but it lacked the joy that was Natsu.

"Okay. Call me later if you need to." Lisanna didn't want to hang up one bit but she let it slide. She was sure Natsu mood for an arguement.

"Bye" Natsu said, ignoring her last comment.

He shut the call down before she could reply. He sank down the wall and sat down. He stared onto ground before him and silently cried. Tears streaming down his face, he found a photo on his phone on him and Lucy and gazed at it for a while.


End file.
